Making Friends As An Adult

Soooo... I realise most of my posts revolve around awesome stuff in Australia and around the world, but I've also wanted to use this platform as a way to express what I've learned about myself while living overseas. One of the biggest realisations: I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS!! 

Let's make more friends by pinning this article!

Seriously, as an adult, it's difficult to make friends. You're no longer confined to a classroom of peers or in multiple after-school activities. When I first moved here, I thought to myself, "I know a few people, so I'll have no problem making friends." Here's the problem, most of my friends were holiday friends, not close friends I had known for a majority of my life. Sure, there's the occasional get-together, but when it comes down to that close-knit group of friends I had in the states, it's just not the same. 

So no one told you life was gonna be this way (clap, clap, clap, clap)

I work in a very isolating profession. I pretty much only interact 1:1 with kiddos under the age of 8 (oh yeah, my best mate still picks his nose). Most people can make friends at work, but that just isn't an option for me. Also, I have horrible social anxiety. If you don't know me, I'm insanely shy. Unless I'm comfortable around someone else in the group, chances are I won't talk much. After I'm comfortable, good luck shutting me up! So really...How does one make friends as an adult?

Get Over the Fear of Rejection
Just like most things in life, sometimes you're going to fail at making friends. I'm not saying every time you go out you're going to make new enemies and eventually be so lonely that you turn into a super-villain and try to wipe out Gotham City. There are just going to be people you just don't click with. It happens. So just be bold! Walk up to someone with no fear and say, "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number so call me because I'm new to town and we should totally explore together and become BFFs!" Worse they'll say no and have Call Me Maybe stuck in their head for the rest of the night. Which comes to my next point...

Put Effort into Your Social Life
Have you ever been in the "talking" phase of budding new romance and then it just started to fizzle? Was it possibly because neither party was putting enough effort into it? The same goes for your social life. To make friends, you have to continuously put yourself out there. Meeting someone once is not always going to turn into a best friend/soul mate that you could never live without. Like romantic relationship...hell like fracking everything in life... new friendships need some attention. You need to be open and vulnerable and, of course, you have to BE YOURSELF! Keep up with it, and eventually, friendships will start to blossom. 

Hit the nail on the head there Bill

Hobbies, Hobbies, & More Hobbies
What better way to make friends then by finding people that share similar interests with you. Do you love hiking? Dancing around like you're Queen-B herself? What about underwater basket weaving? Chances are, other people in the city share your similar interest! Hobbies are a great way to meet people who share similar interests. Be bold! Sign up for that wine and painting class, a book club, walking group, or whatever else might interest you!

Meetup.com 

There are quite a few apps that allow you to make friends. In Melbourne, I've found this was the best. At first, I was really hesitant to join this site. I swear everyone tells you about the horrors of the internet and how you should never do something alone...blah blah blah. Well when you live solo in a new city, you kind of have to do things alone. I gave this site a chance when I first moved to San Diego. After a few weeks of talking myself into going to an event, I actually had a bunch of fun! When I moved to Melbourne, I was definitely less hesitant to find some groups. You're able to select groups based on things you're interested in. It's brilliant! And after going once, you soon find out that there are plenty of other people in the same boat as you! 

The Cycle of Friends
Not all friendships are created equal, not all friendships last, and not all friendships are constant. Sadly, this is just a fact of life. Know that this cycle happens, and hopefully, you won't be so down on yourself. The positive to this cycle: it opens up the doors to meet plenty of new people and expand your horizons. 

The biggest thing I've realised is that you really need to PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE! It's scary and mildly terrifying especially when you're in a city where you know absolutely no one. But guess what you're not alone! The more I've put on my big girl panties, faced my fears and attempted to make friends, the more I've truly begun to appreciate and enjoy the awesome city I live in! So here's to making friends in a new city or new friends all over the world! 

And until next time...

Shout out to all my friends back home!

Stay Curious!